There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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