I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
