he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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