I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
