Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
