He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
There are leaves in my underwear?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
