That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
