If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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