Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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