So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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