Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
