my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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