Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
