I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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