mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
