It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
