a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize