I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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