I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i already hear my dad disowning me
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
