the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
