That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
