you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
