What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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