She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
