all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
