mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
