:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i just made my gag reflex go away.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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