Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
