I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Me. At least after what I've been through.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
