Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
