The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We had to coat check the pizza.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
