it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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