But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
