WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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