remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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