At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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