Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
