He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
