I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
