It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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