If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
