We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
