i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
