I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
