TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
