pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I touched a dick in church today
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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