A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
