my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
