You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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