My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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