like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
