You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
