Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
